If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
