I swear she didn't look like that last week.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
