Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
