we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
