me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
