she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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