I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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