She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
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