So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am available for nakedness
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
