Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize