I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
