rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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