they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
