Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
