You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He passed out mid-signature
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
