the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
