well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
