Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
