She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize