dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
