i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
