Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
