idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize