i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
