all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
