and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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