I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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