In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
