ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
