Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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