I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
