Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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