Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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