Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize