i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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