Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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