Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
