Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
