Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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