Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
