You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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