addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
