You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
