That's intense
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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