I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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