I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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