Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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