Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
