You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
