so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
