You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
