i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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