it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
