shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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