ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
