i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
