she looked like the bat from fern gully.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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