you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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